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If the police cannot figure out whom to arrest when they respond to a domestic violence call, they will arrest both parties and leave it up to the Courts and District Attorney to figure out whom to charge. In New York City courts, this is called a "cross-complaint" case. Usually, the prosecutors will review the case and either decide to prosecute one party or the other. Often there are paralell prosecutions.
If you and your spouse/partner have both been arrested for domestic violence in New York City, the most important thing you can do is protect your rights and each of you obtain your own attorney. Often an amicable resolution can be worked out, but if that is not the cas, you need your own attorney who will look after your interests only. If you are facing this situation, contact The Law Offices of Michael S. Discioarro, LLC at our domestic violence hotline at 917-519-8417 and let us put our experience to work for you.